For Gabrielle Giffords and all those whose lives were ruined on January 8th, by an act of hatred...

~VICTIMS OF HATRED~

Click on image to enlarge

images from the public domain ~ collage by jim otterstrom 2010

I've been trying to come to terms with the contempt and hatred I feel seething through our society since I was a young boy.

I've also been consistently disappointed in my fellow human beings for as long as I can remember, and in myself for carrying within me seeds of that same toxicity which poisons hearts.

Is it any wonder we have so much insanity in a world where every innocence is promptly contaminated by the appalling gore of our collective misdeeds?

We are reaping the fruit of violence we have sewn into the fabric of history---even as we continue shouldering the burden of horrific destruction we still fund throughout the world, with our tax dollars, the sweat of our labor, and the lifeblood of humanity---all in disregard for every other species on earth.

Like the people in this collage, we are all victimized by hatred, fear, and ignorance, including our own.

Whatever we think of the individuals pictured here, they were all moved by the cruelty and injustice they saw around them to speak their truths, with compassion for others, and for that, each one was assassinated.

They made mistakes. After all they were only human, woven from the same imperfect cloth as the rest of us, but their common thread was compassion, and they died because of it.

We are capable of becoming so much more than we are, and each of the persons above gave us a glimpse into possibilities.

As long as I live, no matter how ugly the world becomes, I will hold love and compassion in my heart, and do my best to reach beyond the atmosphere of contempt, bitterness, fear, and hatred which permeates our times...
...even if it kills me.

~Peace & Love~

Jim Otterstrom

Gabrielle Giffords favorite quote, from her facebook page:

"With malice toward none, with charity for all, let us strive to finish the work we are in." ~ Abraham Lincoln

PG&Es Smoking Gun?

Ground Zero of San Bruno

Gas Explosion (before the explosion)

Click on image to enlarge - © 2010 by Google

This image from Google Earth shows the intersection of Earl Avenue and Glenview Drive in San Bruno, California sometime before the PG&E gas explosion which occurred here at approximately 6:24 PM on September 9th.

You'll notice what appears to be an asphalt patch running diagonally across the upper part of the intersection, possibly indicating some recent excavation work there, but what is much more interesting is the white painted oval outlining the entire intersection.

That prophetic oval predicts the exact position of the crater which was later created by the blast.

Residents in the area had apparently been reporting the smell of gas for some weeks before the accident and some reported that PG&E employees came out and did a survey of the area.

What did PG&E employees discover? Why is the location of the future crater marked so perfectly? If PG&E did know or suspect there was a leak why didn't they respond more urgently?

Good questions for those who lost loved ones or homes, or who have been injured, burned, or maimed by this tragedy. Was it preventable?'

~~~~~

I discovered this image while trying to find out exactly how close the explosion was to our sons girlfriends mothers house, which, I discovered, is about a block and a half south of the crater.

We thought our son, Jimmy, was staying there and had called the house, coincidently, just moments after the explosion happened, and his girlfriend, Dyanne, answered saying she couldn't talk because there had just been a plane crash or something and they were being evacuated.

We spent the next 18 hours or so believing our son was there too, and couldn't make any contact with them. It turns out that our son had gone to North Carolina a few days earlier and probably wasn't aware of what was going on in San Bruno, because he has no phone right now.

Anyhow it was a very long day for us and we still haven't heard from Dyanne, but I'm assuming she is OK because, from the pictures available now, it looks like her mom's place wasn't affected except by the evacuation order. They probably can't go home until the utilities are restored.

~

~postscript~

We got a finally got phone call from Dyanne this morning. They are back at her mom's house now but still have no gas service, and no internet. She had to go to the library to send me an e-mail and her phone service just came back up.

She said the whole thing was such a frightening experience that she's still at a loss for words...

a day for mourning...

Click on image and text to enlarge

The above excerpts and illustration are from the book, American Holocaust, by David E. Stannard --- © 1992 by David E. Stannard/Oxford University Press

~

I share this with you in remembrance of the monstrous legacy of Christopher Columbus, and the crimes against humanity he perpetrated in the name of God & Country, and the pursuit of Gold.

America has continued to build its Empire upon the sick heritage of Columbus as evidenced by our contributions, funneled through the CIA, to the disappearances and murder of hundreds of thousands of indigenous people in Chile, Peru, Argentina, Brazil, Bolivia, Colombia, Ecuador, Panama, Venezuela, and elsewhere over the past several decades. People who resisted or disapproved of American-supported military coups and brutal dictatorships which gave control of their countries, their land, their wealth, and their resources to corporations---many of them based in the U.S.

This was the direct result of American-sponsored experiments to spread the neo-liberal (now neocon) corporatist economic theories of Milton Friedman across South America, and there is no defensible or pardonable excuse (such as fighting The Red Scare or putting and end to Creeping Socialism) for these and countless other atrocities committed, just during my lifetime, in the name of freedom and democracy.

Therefore, I, like every other human being, carry in my heart an insidious poison distilled from the suffering of the aforementioned peoples, and from the terror visited upon Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Viet Nam, Cambodia, Iraq, Afghanistan, and so many other places.

Our current human predicament, as well as our future, is surely determined by the karma of our actions, past and present, and the consequences of those actions are coming home to roost more & more, as we live each day with new revelations of unspeakable horrors, and not just terrorist attacks, but psychopathic acts of violence everywhere. Campus massacres, workplace shootings, murder, mayhem, kidnapping, rape, child-molestion, infanticide, maiming, torture, and even cannibalism, committed by ordinary people, male, female---adults and children alike--- whether black, white, brown, yellow or red, here at home, and all around the world.

Yet we continue sowing the seed of monsters even as we reap the grotesquely bitter fruit borne of selfishness and greed.

These days we do it in the name of God, Country, and the pursuit of Oil, not to mention the myriad other resources required to feed the insatiable appetites of rogue Capitalism and unbridled growth.

Atrocities and war crimes committed by the American government and its corporate leaders belong to each one of us because we allow them to happen, through either ignorance, apathy, or intimidation, and we pay for them not only with our dollars, but with the lives of our loved ones.

Many of us would deny that we play any part in this, a denial that ends rather bluntly when you trace the path of the dollars withheld from your paycheck. But we can't stop our payments for war and killing because deep-down we understand that this is not really a democracy and we're afraid of being imprisoned or impoverished like the victims of the foreign policy we pay for.

And besides, we're certainly not the only country guilty of crimes against humanity now are we?

Still, even after we nearly exterminated the people who inhabited this place when we got here, the great American experiment with democracy was seen by many as "a beacon of freedom", "a shining light of hope in the world", an alternative to the tyranny, oppression, and corruption of previous empire-builders. Not so many people believe that about America anymore though, because we've long since given our country, and its lofty ideals, over to the criminals and thieves of Corporatism.

The American experiment with democracy seems to have failed, and, once again, the emperor wears no clothes, but what could we expect?

After all, this so-called democracy was founded upon conquest, murder, theft, injustice and suffering, and all of us today shoulder a good measure of guilt in the continuing creation of a war-torn world full of fear and hatred.

We remake our beds each day, in which we must lie each night...

Will we ever learn?

Or are we simply incapable of transforming ourselves into thoughtful, conscientious, benevolent, sustainable human beings?

On this day of mourning I would humbly ask all victims of American-sponsored terrorism to try and find forgiveness in their hearts, for we are also victims. Corporatist Fascism is rapidly overtaking the world and the average person here has been duped, just like everywhere else.

in PEACE, LOVE, and HUMILITY

jim

In Loving Memory...

Click on photo to enlarge - photo credit unknown
Athena Aspiotes 1989-2005

Posted in loving memory of Athena, our good friend Mike Aspiotes' daughter, who would have been 17 years old today.
She was lost to a car accident this past December 30th,

A Friend To Everyone - Mike 'The Greek'

Click on photo to enlarge
photo by Gus Kirkpatrick 1999

Mike 'The Greek' Aspiotes is one of the most well-known and loved people in Big Bear, his huge heart radiates warmth through those smiling eyes, and a nicer guy you'll never meet.

Mike shared his good nature with our community from behind the counter of his 'Village Music' store for over 25 years, and is a loving father who always puts his kids needs first.

We've been friends with Mike for as long as we've lived here. Peggy & I went to concerts, and club dancing, with him and Cynthia, his ex-wife, when they were first dating. In 'Village Music' Mike created a safe hangout where people, yes even kids, could go in, touch, and actually play real instruments. If you were looking for a hard to find record or CD Mike would check with several distributors until he found it. Cynthia cut our family's hair, either at their home, or later, at her salon. We remember the births of their kids and witnessed Mike doing his part to raise them with a diligence and devotion that only increased after the marriage dissolved.

So it was extremely sad for Peggy and I to hear that Mike & Cynthia's 16 year-old daughter Athena was killed in a another car wreck the night before New Years Eve.

Athena was a passenger in the car with some friends when the driver lost control and hit a tree.

Another horrific event of 2005 has shaken our lives dear Mike & Cynthia, the loss of Athena breaks our hearts again.

Counting Our Blessings!

Click on photo to enlarge

Our brave handsome son Jimmy is alive and smiling at the dawn of 2006, and he says, "If the loss of my vision is permanent, it's not going to ruin my life, I'll find ways to do the things I want to do and enjoy life, you'll see dad."

Jimmy loves the guitar I gave him for Christmas, it was my beloved Gibson, but I prefer to play acoustic, and he likes electric, so it's the perfect gift at the right time I think.

I enjoy hearing him down in his room playing softly into the wee hours of the night, it soothes me to sleep at a time when I'm experiencing insomnia and have been very restless & worried.

Observing Jimmy's courage during these extremely difficult days has made it easier for Peggy and I to deal with too, but I realize it's still very early in a long long period of adjustment, and he is going to need plenty of support.

Jimmy's working on pumping back up that buff physique he sported a few months ago so we set up a weight bench on the deck to assist in his efforts.

I don't know if I've posted this before, but just 48 days after Jimmy's wreck, another local kid, Nathan Hoover, 22 years of age and also a carpenter, went off Forest Road 2N02 in exactly the same place as Jimmy & Lindsay did, but Nate was killed. It's a small town and we knew Nate, and his parents too, from our years at the Post Office, but the magnitude of their tragedy puts our suffering into perspective doesn't it?

We are here, we are healing, and we are thinking of you all as well...

I, for one, am hoping for a more fruitful and much less traumatic 2006!

Love,

Jim

to the passing of time...

"Sorrow comes, but it's like manna - you can't hold it past its time. Nor can you deny its value for the moment and refuse it altogether. All things in season." - madcapmum

Jimmy At Home Today

Click on photo to enlarge

We brought Jimmy home from the hospital yesterday after 17 days there.

He's making good progress every hour now and looking very much like his old self in this picture taken just a few minutes ago.

The trachea tube has been removed from his throat and the swelling of his jaw is much less pronounced, especially on the left side as you can see, but the right side is still quite swollen and the surgeons think they may need to go back in and drain it some.

His right arm has a fracture and is in a splint for the time being, it may be put in a regular cast next week.

His appetite is great, but for the moment he can only have liquids or finely pureed foods, so Peggy made a delicious organic chicken soup today and Lindsay pureed a big batch of it for Jim.

He ate a large portion of it for dinner just now with two glasses of whole milk and organic blueberry applesauce for dessert.

We can't get the bandage over his tracheal wound wet so Lindsay gave him a bath in water up to his chest this afternoon and then I laid him on a table on the deck to shampoo his hair.

After that we sat out in the sunny garden while I wrapped his face in a steamy towel and shaved him, a relaxing experience for both of us.

Jimmy still can't see anything except blurred shapes & colors, but during his shave he said he thought he could make out some leaf detail in a nearby quaking aspen, and when I held up two fingers he couldn't make them out, but he could see the two fingers of my hand shadowed on the ground.

It seems to me that his vision has improved ever so slightly over the past week or so, but we'll just have to wait & see what happens over time.

Lindsay & Jimmy walked around the block together this morning and he's already asking to go on longer walks.

He's getting stronger by the moment and is very glad to be home where hopefully we can give him all the love and care he'll need for a full recovery.

We almost lost him...

Jimmy's Wrecked Truck...

Click on photo to enlarge
Photo by Lindsay Deneke

Sitting in a remote ravine after tumbling 450' down a steep mountainside are the remains of Jimmy's Toyota truck.

The destruction is complete and it's hard to believe that Lindsay walked away from this or that either one of them even survived it.

In the enlarged photo you can see the crumpled roof (behind and right of the steering wheel) which was cut away to extricate Jimmy.

For The 'Love' Of Our Cars!!!

Click on photo to enlarge

Photo taken on Thursday 8:18 P.M. September 1st at Loma Linda Hospital

Our 23 year old son Jimmy after driving his 4X4 truck off a 450 foot cliff last Sunday morning at 1 AM.

Since 1903 something approaching 4 million people have been killed in automobiles in America alone.

This doesn't take into account all the crippled & maimed victims, the ruined families, the incredible number of animals wiped out, the destruction of habitat for highways & roads, the immeasurable amount of poison we've dumped into our air & water, or the countless lives being lost everyday to our criminally-waged oil wars!

There is nothing on this earth I despise more than the automobile with it's all-consuming murderous infrastructure, and the pain I'm feeling right now, as I suffer with my family over our sons injuries, will only strengthen my resolve to live without a GOD-DAMNED car!!

Yes, our son is young & reckless, and very much at fault for this accident, but a great number of people who's lives are destroyed by this beast of an invention are completely innocent!

Jimmy is lucky this time, he's still alive, but his jaw is severely broken, he's breathing through a trachea tube so he can't speak, and for the moment he can't see anything either, and we still don't know if his vision will improve or not.

But his spine is OK, he can move his hands & feet, and he's communicating by writing.

Miraculously, Jimmy's girlfriend Lindsay suffered only minor injuries and was able to climb out of the canyon in the dark, walking 5 miles on a dirt road (with only one shoe) to summon the help which saved Jim's life, and we are so grateful for her clear thinking under such stress.

Lindsay even thought to tie her sweatshirt to a tree at the accident site, because the car was so far down the ravine that it couldn't be seen from the road (even with the emergency lights flashing), and she wasn't sure she could find her way back there.

By the time she got help and they were able to rescue him, after repelling all their equipment into the canyon, Jimmy had been trapped in that truck for 7 hours and his tongue had swollen to the point where it was cutting off his air supply.

They got there just in time!

Today Lindsay is our heroine, but they both could've easily died right there, and nobody would've even found them yet.

So please, go back up and enlarge the photo of Jimmy, take a long look, and before you put your babies or other loved ones in the car again, ask yourselves if that trip is really necessary.

Hospitals are overflowing with victims of the automobile, and those are the lucky ones.

I will soon have much more to say about the insanity of our auto-addicted culture, but right now I must go to the hospital...